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Sunday, Aug. 24, 2003 - 2:00 a.m. BIRDS AND BEES I had a rather uneventful week, as far as I am concerned. The climax was the time when I was at work alone with my two superiors who needed to "counsel" me about how I have not seemed so alert at work. They claimed that they caught me nodding off and staring into space while I was working. What business is it of theirs as long as the work gets done? They will find anything and everything to criticize me on. If my shoes are not shiny enough, and there is nothing else I am doing wrong, I am sure they will point it out to me. As far as my nodding off and staring out into space is concerned, I have two things to say. First, maybe I am staring out to space because I am thinking. Second, I am on four different prescription medications and I have to be at work at 7 AM. Those morons could not even hold down this job in my situation, let alone stay awake. In either case, I plan to go to bed much earlier and make sleep my number one priority. This diary will suffer as a result. I had attempted to make contact with my old student worker buddies and reached one in Shreveport who is running his own web-site design business. He e-mailed me back and said to look him up when I am in the area. As an encore to my meeting with Speed last weekend, I had sent a very caustic, but in-good-cheer, e-mail to her old college account, not expecting her to respond. She actually responded. She made some lame excuse up for why she would not talk to me in that she was drunk and worried about her "asshole" boyfriend getting jealous. How many more e-mails we will end up exchanging I have no idea. I just want to see if she can hook me up with more friends in the Baton Rouge area. E-harmony finally matched me up with someone moderately close to Baton Rouge, some respiratory therapist in Lafayette. I have already announced to her in my answers to her questions that I am a virgin. She still seems interested, but I have yet to see what she looks like. I have to date her no matter what--therapist's orders. All I ask for is average. I know we all are not genetically perfect, but you can at least take good care of yourself. At least try not to look like the women I spent Friday night with at the singles club. And that leads to something else. There is this woman I have seen at the singles club the last four times I have gone that seems to be coming on to me. I am not attracted to her physically in the least sense. She seems very sweet, but I am just not attracted to her. I cannot do anything about that. She is just unattractive. That is biology, that is nature, that is the birds and the bees. It angers me in a way. Why can't she be at least average? Everything I tell her about myself she hangs on to. She will try to start a conversation with me about something I said off-hand three weeks before. Why else would she remember little things like that unless she likes me? It really, really angers me. I told her a couple of weeks ago that I was getting involved with the museum and what I was doing last weekend. Now she is all fascinated with me because I am involved with the museum. I told her that I would be helping out with the museum's opening reception for a new art collection this Wednesday night, and she promised she would be there. Oh, brother! I just hope someone distracts me so I do not end up talking to her and giving her the wrong idea. I am a slender, athletically-toned guy. Call me shallow, but I am simply not physically attracted women that weigh more than I do. As much as it pains me to be so insensitive, I just cannot ever see myself making love to certain women. I am sure she will find a man that does find her attractive, but it just will not be me. I renew my involvement with that on-campus church when I help greet new members tomorrow with the new school-year starting. However, if sleep is my number one priority, my evenings I will be able to give up to be involved with anything over there will be limited. I just want to stay in contact with the people I have met there in case I see some daylight on how I can meet more people. Lastly, I need to get ready for my new hobby, wine-tasting. Yes, wine-tasting. That is my new college major that have not told you about. However, I have been informed that three Baton Rouge bars have wine-tasting groups, so telling you that I am a wine-taster does not hurt my anonymity because which bar I go to cannot be easily figured out. That and my dance class ought to keep me really busy. I must make sure I get home early though, as I will need to get to bed early. During busy-time, we are usually at work at 6 AM. I am tired now, and must get rested, even on the weekend, to prepare for the grueling week ahead. I hope I can get back to this diary soon. |