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Wednesday, Oct. 08, 2003 - 9:15 p.m. DU VIN ROUGE Tonight was the last night of my wine-tasting class. I debated upon whether I should take another class, but my job is far too demanding right now. I barely have time to write in this diary, much less to take a wine-tasting course. Needless to say, I am still feeling the buzz from drinking all that wine. It is quite pleasant actually. I almost have absolutely no cares right now. I almost want to go out and buy another bottle of some Cabernet to keep the buzz going. I am so preoccupied with work right now it is shameful. No one with a government job should work like I do. We just do not get paid enough. And then I have to put up with a bunch of petty, anal coworkers who are drawn to this line of work because it suits their personalities, while I am like a fish out of water. I just want all this crap to end. Speed gave me her number in an e-mail, and I have called and left messages on her cell, and she has called and left messages on my answering machine. We have gone at it for two weeks but have yet to actually speak to each other directly. I do not know what to make of it. However, I am so busy right now, I do not care. My work has become so exhausting that this diary is going to have to become even more infrequently updated. The Experiment is starting to halt completely as my crappy job has exacted all the attention of my life. It is basically a hopeless situation in terms of my social life. My old classmate from London who was supposed to visit me never even contacted me. To hell with him. I try to offer my hand as an old friend and he snubs me. But then again, I have little use for him as long as he lives so far away anyway. Beyond that and everything else, the Experiment is at a standstill. I have no control over it when my job controls me. Maybe some day, somewhere over the rainbow, my lonely misery will end. Unfortunately, I cannot just drink my problems away like I would like to. |