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Sunday, Aug. 29, 2004 - 4:23 a.m. GLASS HOUSE There really is no sense or logic to this entry. In fact, there really is no sense or logic to the entire Experiment. When I think of this thing I have been writing, I get images of a cockroach in a brand new luxury home. Its appearance spoils everything and scares the buyers away. I suppose the cockroach would live there quite a while until the exterminators come and spray the place. Then the house is a flawless luxury home again and the roach is forgotten. I received an email today from that girl that still harbors this crush on me, even though I have kind of been ignoring all her past emails. She had been associating with some people from that retreat. Apparently, these people have been engaging in some activity that was a bit on the immature side and uncharacteristic of those involved in church groups. As a gag, they took some goofy off-color picture in the bathroom at a party she attended. Knowing that with her nun like tendencies she would totally freak out if she saw the picture, the girl who threw the party showed it to her as she came out of church one day. She then ran home like a crying girl. Only a “pure” girl like this one could tell me her story, expect me to understand in light of society‘s loose moral standards, and trust me. Only a pure girl like this one could be madly in love with me because, in her purity, only a girl like can actually see that, at my basic core, I am one of the most beautiful people to walk this earth. Too bad I do not love her back, for she possesses a level of purity that is impossible to find in 99.999% of all women. Unfortunately for me, she has created an unattainable standard that all potential female partners will be compared against and will fall miserably short. I am that luxury home. The cockroach is that element of my ego that has worried about all my faults and whether women will ever like me. I think now I have exterminated that roach. Instead of trying to be something I am not, I am going to aim to be exactly what that nun like pure girl thinks I am, because that is who I am. Just as most guys will mock and never be worthy of her purity, most women will mock and would never be worthy of mine. Meanwhile, I will just be myself and wait for a buyer to shock me. Then we will see if she can afford the house. |