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Wednesday, Jan. 14, 2004 - 8:00 p.m. SPINNING GLASSES I remember when I was small and the colors were so bright. Nothing compared to the world’s beauty. You dangled it in front of me like a carrot. Then one morning you ripped it away. As time went on, I became accustomed to being impoverished by your thievery. Every now and then you would come in the night and terrorize me to remind me that you were there. But over time, that gift that you stole from me was thought to be lost forever. I had to accept the fact that a darker world would be the one I would live in for the rest of my life. You then became a natural annoyance, often times becoming more painful than a sword slicing my head. I learned to live with you, fighting you as necessary, whatever it took me to survive. Then everyone else laughed at me while I fought you, because they did not know you existed inside of me. Now I tell them who you are, and they act as though they understand, only to turn their backs to laugh some more. Over time I sought every which way to convince myself that you actually did not exist. I read books, thought intently, prayed to God, and sought to understand a world without you. But you refused to go away. The more I ignored you, the more damage you inflicted upon my life. Eventually, you made me angry enough to ignore all the nay Sayers and acknowledge you. I gritted my teeth and faced you head on. And then you struck me with your lightning. Once again, I saw the childhood beauty I had lost all those years ago. The fear that once turned me into the fool mocked by all was again vanquished. Then, as you saw me become omnipotent, your darkness ran from me until the colors became too bright. I had developed so much strength from fighting you all that time, my strength became my enemy. My only choice was to quell the storm within before it killed me. Now the feeble chemical machinations of man are the only thing preventing me from coming after you. In the shadows you laugh, because you know the very thing protecting me from my strength is also stealing away the beauty I had once seen. So laugh then. I know you are watching me. I can feel it. I know you are waiting for the opportune time to strike me with a force that will explode my mind. In fact, I am waiting. I am wanting of it. You have done it to me before, so I know you exist and it can be done. So do it. Open up my world. Give me your power. Strip away my fear. |