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Thursday, Aug. 05, 2004 - 5:34 p.m. THE SECOND PLAGUE Very much like last year at this time, I am on the horizon of another few months of grueling punishment at work. Once again, my busy-season starts in a few weeks, and I am not looking forward to it. The main reason is the fact that, unlike last year when I had little going on with my life, this year I will be carrying a full plate. First, I have committed myself to a training regimen that will force me to run several miles, probably after dark, after at least a twelve-hour day of work. Next I have committed myself to sponsor another baptism candidate at the local church on the college campus. He is an army guy that I hardly know. Lastly, I have met with the church minister and have taken it upon myself to build a church organization for graduate students, alumni, and people that are not students. What makes things even tougher at work is the fact that we now have a rushed deadline at work that will require us to be done by November. We had this issue three years ago, and we found ourselves working seven days a week. The past couple of years, at least I had Sunday to catch up on my sleep. Now I shriek in horror when I think of how exhausted I will be with the constant work and the physical training I will be subjecting myself to during a seven-day workweek. The fall is such a great social atmosphere in Baton Rouge. Students are in town partying, football season is in full swing, and the holidays are around the corner. However, I have a job that forces me to forego all these things. I had allowed myself in previous years to let my job steal my life away, but this year it seems I will have to stay back and fight the thief. I may not be able to keep everything, but I will certainly try. Meanwhile, I still find myself very lonely. Yes, I do have a handful of people that I might consider to be friends, but they are certainly not close enough to me for me to rely on them. I still have no one that I can reliably claim as a best friend that will be there no matter what. My phone is not exactly ringing off the hook with people asking me to hang out with them. I know too that I am mostly to blame for that. The problem is that my entire life is modeled around an existence of a guy that is supposed to be alone. I am very much like the old woman who lives in a shabby old house on the hill and is surrounded by dozens of cats. She just seems like a person better left alone. Some might even label her a witch when she shoes them away. Much like that old woman, my solitary life has become so normalized, letting people in would be so disruptive to the status quo that, in a manner of speaking, I could also find myself shoeing them away. This mindset must change. What has made my loneliness a little easier to deal with though has been my running. While I am running I often find myself thinking about the absurdity of my life. When I do, I sometimes picture Forrest Gump suddenly dropping everything in his life to run from sea to shining sea. Much like me, he never had a relationship at that point, and as far as I know, no one cared who he was either. Someone just noticed a man that kept running and no one knew why. All the while no one understood, he saw the starlit skies reflected upon mountain lakes and beautiful desert sunsets, in a world only he could appreciate. Apparently, he just did it to do it, and did not care. Unfortunately the water in University Lake is a bit muckier, and the interstate traffic drowns out any peace and quiet like Forrest might have found in the isolated parts of the Rockies. However, I did witness a giant bullfrog leaping in front of me that was crossing the street one evening. It darted across like a squirrel. It scared the heck out of me. I had never seen one before in the wild. With work, running, church involvement, and any dates I might pursue, updates to this diary may turn out to be far less frequent in the upcoming months. But when I find inspiration, I will try to write. Certainly, if anything major happens, it will eventually find its way into this diary. For now, I will try not to step on any frogs. |