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Sunday, Jan. 18, 2004 - 1:32 a.m. THESE DAYS Another Saturday night has gone by with me unable to improve my social life. I have sat here washing clothes, surfing the internet, and doing anything else to distract myself any way possible from my predicament. However, I did make a list of things I plan to do in the near future to help improve things for myself. First off, I have become so lazy and complacent with the fact that no one will ever come to my house, that I have basically left it in shambles. As a result, for the remainder of this weekend, I will be giving it a thorough cleaning. I also need to weed and mulch my garden. After I do these basic things, I have a list of other odd jobs I need to do around the house that I have just been putting off. Next, I have not stayed as committed to my workout schedule as I had promised myself to do. Since my travels with my brother, I have only been to the health club four times. Moreover, I have not run every day of the week as I said I would. My indolence has been inexcusable. My new goal is to run a 5K race at least three weekends a month. Third, I have to resume my efforts to build my network from people I know, few as they are. I must get myself in contact with Max. I called him a week ago and left him a message on his cell, and he did not return my call. All I want to do is make sure he knows I am interested in joining his baseball team. At least that is a start. Fourth, in the hopes of developing this new social circle, I finally broke down and ordered a cell phone. I figured that even if I do not have anyone to call me, I should at least look like someone that has people who call him. I am tired of explaining to people that I have no use for a cell phone. Not having one makes me look like a loser with absolutely no social life, even though that is exactly what I am. Besides, it might come in handy during emergencies. In addition, I need to keep a schedule book. I have to list the things I need to do and do them. To often I am too scared to keep a schedule because I feel like I am putting myself under too much pressure to do everything I set out to do. I end up not doing anything. If I am to develop a vibrant social life, I have got to develop a system of keeping myself organized, or else I risk getting too frustrated with everything going on and falling back into being anti-social again. Another problem I must fix is that I must somehow get more dates. Though I hate the fact that I have to use an internet service, eharmony offered me the ability to rejoin, three months for the price of one, about two months ago. I have since rejoined and have two women actively communicating with me. I want to at least date one of them just for the experience, though I do not expect it to work out. If the issue comes up, this time I will be up-front about my virginity, and even though I am open to anything, if my date has a problem with my inexperience, she can go to hell. The seventh item on my list is to take another wine-tasting class and sponsor another baptism candidate at the church. However, this time my attitude regarding these activities has changed. Unlike last time when I started doing these things in order to meet women, this time I am going to do these things simply because I enjoy doing them. I am not worried about whether I meet women in these places or not. I am sick and tired of worrying about that. The last and, in my opinion, biggest item on my list is the singles cruise during Mardi Gras week that I just signed up for. Again, this may sound paradoxical, but I do not plan to go on this cruise seeking women. In fact, after doing research, I am led to believe the majority of these singles will be over thirty, many over forty. Rather, I am going on this cruise because I have always wanted to go on one and I would rather go alone on a singles cruise than go on alone on a cruise full of couples. Besides, I will be going to Jamaica, the Caymans, and Cozumel. Whether I meet women or not, I will not be complaining. And if I do meet someone, that is just an added bonus. The important thing for me is to keep my life in perspective, enjoy myself, and not care about whatever ends up happening to me. Being single can be wonderful if it is used to my advantage. Years from now I might be in a miserable marriage, and if I read this diary, I might be wishing for these days to return. |