|
|
Wednesday, Apr. 28, 2004 - 7:25 p.m. TO INSPIRE Note to readers: The following excerpt is from an e-mail responding to an entry of a new reader (http://i2i.diaryland.com). I decided to post it to my diary because it is appropos to the goal of the Experiment. i2i, I appreciate your reading my diary. Based upon your style and quality of writing, I can tell that you are quite the intelligent man. It is obvious that you and I have much in common. Out of fear of offending my female readers, I generally have left out of my diary my own issues concerning masturbation and pornography, but nevertheless, you and I have a commonality there as well. Particularly among the mentally ill, masturbation is a common release of sexual anxiety. It is an issue I have addressed in therapy, but it remains one I still struggle with. One can cite moral and spiritual reasons for not viewing pornography or masturbating, but from a psychological standpoint, the rationale for avoiding such behavior is neither moral nor spiritual. The issue lies in the person's inability to integrate his or her sexuality within the context of healthy relationships with other human beings. Viewing pornography objectifies the sexual act as a mere, ultimately meaningless, source of pleasure. It fails to recognize the emotional consequences of the sexual act with regard to how it fits in a real life relationship. Pornography is based on caricatures of women that are demeaning to their human dignity and numbs the mind to the actual dynamics of human interaction with regard to their sexuality. A man simply cannot grow as a sexually integrated human being by living in a pornography fantasy land. Masturbation, while arguably not immoral in and of itself, can also be abused as a means of escaping the challenges of a healthy sexual relationship. I have been told by therapists that masturbation creates a false sense of sexual security that can actually decrease a man's desire to socialize with the opposite sex. After all, why should a guy need the hastles of a relationship when he has everything in the palm of his hand? You will find, as I have, that if you can control your urge to masturbate, you will be more willing to take risks in socializing with the opposite sex. I have only read the first two entries of your diary thus far, and I appreciate your candor and honesty with which you present it. Since you and I appear to have so much in common, if I could make any suggestions to you in how you can improve your own social circumstances, I would encourage you to seek therapy. Therapy is certainly nothing to be ashamed of, and the rewards can be tremendous. Social anxiety is difficult, if not impossible, to overcome, if a certain amount of help is not sought. Life is too short to spend alone, especially when a person like you has an abundance of talent to share with the world. My prayers will be with you as you attempt to overcome your struggles, and I will continue to read your diary. Keep on writing- -Experiment |