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Monday, Nov. 08, 2004 - 11:52 p.m. WEARING PANTIES I probably should not be up writing this late, but I figured I ought to write now while I am still inspired. Work right now is in the thick of when it gets most busy, but the more flexible options we have been given for what hours we must work have made things slightly easier than they have been in the past. We had to move again to new office space so I am once again sharing the room with my despised supervisor. However, I have managed to tune everything out by wearing a huge set of headphones on my head while I work. As far as that ministry I have started goes, our group met twice concerning activity plans, but gaining membership and involvement is still very slow. Even those that have come to the meetings seem to come half-heartedly expecting someone else to do everything while they act as spectators. I suppose this type of thing is part of the territory though, as any voluntary church organization cannot force anyone to be involved. But the biggest inroads in my life have been made during my training for the half-marathon I will be doing this January. Last week I began running 8 miles a day on routine, until my illiotibial (IT) band in my right leg started to give me trouble. I can only conclude that my problems are due to possible overtraining and maybe my running shoes. My plans are to perhaps see the physical therapist I originally consulted before my first shoe-fitting to correct whatever is causing my problem. I can say though I am in much better shape now than I was three months ago. I have lost 10 pounds and probably an inch or two off my waist. For me, this loss is somewhat substantial, as I never carried much weight in the first place. My goal is to lose another 5 to 10 pounds before the race in January. My heart rate at rest is down to 45 beats per minute. Overall, my mental well-being has improved, besides the fact that I just plain feel better. Given the fact that my IT band is so inflamed, I have had to resort to cross training in another sport. With the help of my triathete trainer, “Ryan,” I have taken on swimming. I began swimming at the Y with him two weeks ago. Today we also swam, and I plan to meet with him tomorrow for another swim, as I can no longer run with him like I used to as my leg heals. After we swam, we met with his roommate for coffee at a local college coffee shop. We certainly had an interesting conversation. As I stated in a much earlier entry, one thing that always intrigued me about Ryan was his ability to easily socialize with women and “run game” as the lingo goes. As all the “cute” college girls, as he called them, came and went through the coffee shop, Ryan sat there scratching his head about how frustrated he was that he was getting so many numbers, going on so many dates, but having so little success and finding a long-term relationship with a girl. I kind of threw in some of my own reflections to keep the conversation going. One comment he made was that he always gets a date out of doing a triathlon. He attributed his success due to his wearing tights and his ripped six-pack after he competes. I challenged him stating that this physical image he has of himself just creates state of mind that gives him the confidence to meet girls he otherwise would not talk to. I went on to say that looks are not as important to women as they are to men. He then agreed with me and said he could probably get the number of any girl in that coffee shop right then and there if he wanted to, and probably his roommate could too. I could not debate that point. Then I asked, how about me? Ryan looked at me and said something like, “Maybe you could pick up women, but you are wearing panties and we are wearing boxers. Maybe if you wore men’s underwear like wear are, you would have more success.” I am not exactly sure what he meant by this statement. I just nodded my head with a smile as though he was full of shit. There was an eerie truth to what he was saying though, even though he had no idea what he was telling me because he knows little of my past. However, despite the fact that he has gone on many more dates than I have, he and I have exactly the same problem. In fact, I am so keenly aware of the problem now, I just have not been too worried about the dating scene. The problem, of course, is finding the right person. Going on dates, be they one or fifty, means absolutely nothing unless the date leads to something long-term. Not that I base too much on first impressions, but for some reason, after just talking to certain women for five minutes, I know it would never work between us in the long-term, so the whole issue seems pointless. All I can do is dream that I somehow meet the right woman, but that dream seems nowhere in sight. But what I can say is, whoever this woman is, she will like me for whatever underwear I put on (figuratively speaking, of course). Otherwise, I will be spending my life maintaining an illusion that I am someone I am not. |